The People Who Voted Themselves Out Of Existence

A Dark Parable

At the time of the Second World War, a military plane was transporting several soldiers from British regiments across the ocean when severe problems occurred. The engines began to cut in and out abruptly.

The commanding officer, an Englishman, addressed the passengers: “As I am the highest ranking and most valued person on board, I have rights to the only parachute. Good luck, men, and God save the Queen!”

With that, he jumped out of the plane and landed in safety far below.

Before long the plane crashed on a desolated island and killed all on board, apart from three men: Patrick from the north of Ireland, Llywelyn from Wales, and Nigel the Highlander.

After they pulled themselves out of the wreckage and brushed themselves off, they looked at each other, searching for a way to proceed.

Patrick began, “We are free now of Saxon tyranny. I proclaim this island an independent republic where we shall reinstate the ancient Celtic…”

But he was cut short by the shot fired at him by Nigel, brandishing his Browning pistol. He fell and died quickly.

Llywelyn looked at him and said nervously, “We need not topple the political status quo, but surely the most noble and ancient tongue of the Britons ought to …”

But he too was gunned down by the loyal Highlander.

Being a good Presbyterian, Nigel was suddenly struck by guilt and remorse at the bloody work his faithful service to the empire had forced him to carry out. He instinctively began to call on God for mercy. “A Dhé nan gràsan…” He then suddenly remembered that his commanding officer had explicitly forbade him from speaking Gaelic while on duty unless given permission, and he thought of his own inability to keep these mutinous thoughts disciplined.

He held the pistol to his own head. “British forever!” were his last words before pulling the trigger.

Some time later, the corpses were found and suitable headstones mark their graves: “Faithful servants of the British Empire.” Nearby is an exceedingly productive oil field.

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